Couples Therapy

The primary goal of any couple's counseling is to increase your understanding of yourself, your partner, and the patterns of interactions that have become detrimental to the relationship. 

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Marriage can be quite stressful. Some couples start out communicating with each other, but eventually get pulled apart by stress of everyday life. Children, jobs, and finances may zap the energy out of both or either partner. Good communication is the lifeblood of a successful marriage, so when spouses stop talking at a deep level, their marriage slowly begins to to die - a marriage will only be as good as a couple's communication. 

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Studies show that one of the more sinister reasons husbands and wives quit communicating is that they "administrate" marriage almost to death. They're often caught in a destructive pattern where they spend their limited time together talking about work, the budget, children, chores and so on. The conversations become "transitional". Certainly, there is a need to discuss household management, but couples cannot allow "business meetings" to dominate their conversations.

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Some people enter couples therapy believing their partner is the one who needs to change. They have spent years denying or ignoring the major problems in their marriage, or trying ineffectively to change their partner. This is a big mistake, and the longer these behaviors have been maintained, the longer the therapy will take. you will both need to be willing to change yourself, and to work as a team. When it comes to improving your relationship, your attitude toward changing is more important and crucial than what action you take. 

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As a marriage counselor, I will give the couple tools to start building or rebuilding trust in the relationship. There are many essential skills needed to engage in a successful couple's therapy; in particular, their capacity to work together as a team, to envision a better life together, and most importantly to speak from the heart about what really matters.